DAY 17: QBank and NBME can suck my nuts

The trusty ol' self confidence meter has bottomed out burst into flames, fallen off the wall and set my entire psyche on fire. I've gone through over 900 QBank questions over the past 2 weeks and I can only say four things for sure:
  1. I have absolutely no idea of how I'm doing overall. I might as well be sitting in a Viet Cong outpost on the Mei Kong river, blindfolded and forced to play Russian Roulette against Robert DeNiro when I take these exams. Hopefully I don't end up like Walken in the end of the movie...I doubt that QBank Roulette in a warehouse would draw the same crowd of screaming Vietnamese people throwing money around. I'm probably going to end up with a similar case of PTSD, which promises for some good self-loathing induced blogging in the future.

  2. My performance varies by 10% in a matter of hours. Morning questions will be way below the average on an easier exam and the afternoon's will be above on a much harder exam...WTF??? To make it better, I can't even tell when the exams are harder or easier!!! I'll think that some of the 22% questions are easy and not have a clue about some of the 78% questions.

  3. Qbank has caused me to develop persecutory delusions of becoming a PM&R resident on Podunk County Hospital's hospice service tending to bed sores, diabetic feet, and terminal pain management with a non-English speaking FMG as my only friend. Ship me off to the 7th circle of hell why don't you?

  4. The NBME has a Kung-Fu death grip on the collective genitalia of all medical students...$45 fucking dollars a pop to put my mind at ease. It's ok, it's not like I needed to buy groceries this week or anything. $45 for 4 hours of sitting there and clicking fucking buttons to simulate the most anxiety inducing experience of my young life! I bought 4 of them!!! I probably need to have my head examined.
Tomorrow marks the half way point if this incredibly frustrating and demoralizing process. There's only 19 days of this crap to go...better get back to studying so that I can try to end up near a coast in a profession that might interest me.

Up tomorrow: NBME 1


Neumed said...

I don't envy you a bit. Good luck.

The Lone Coyote said...

I'm sorry. It is so painful studying for that test.

I did find that towards the end of the Kaplan Q-Bank (like 85% done), my scores magically started to rise after weeks of exactly what you describe. I think the whole thing is rigged to keep you guessing and then to boost your confidence towards test time.

Dragonfly said...

Sounds like erm...fun.

Bostonian in NY said...

Thanks ya'll.

Neu-you've been here, I don't blame you. There are worse things (losing a testicle in a fence jumping accident comes to mind)

LC-that's the Kaplan way...crush your spirit, then make you feel really good at the end. They did the same thing for the MCAT.

Dragonfly- it's a freaking blast...you should try it some time!

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