Quotes from the rectum

Ok so I have to share this one with everyone, despite how disturbing it is to me. So I had my standard male genitourinary and rectal exam a few weeks ago, and I just keep relaying one quote to everyone that asks how it went.

So we finished up the awkward exam of the male genitals (junk or twig and two berries if you will) and perenium (the taint or grundle for the anatomically disinclined). I've plucked this guys spermatic cords about 5 times and have had my finger up into his inguinal canal to feel his hernia...crossing all sorts of boundaries that I've never crossed with another man's junk, with minimal public display of discomfort. The patient/actor/educator turns around to the three of us males in the room and says:

"Hold up your hands."

We oblige. Pointing to the large-handed former football player, he deadpan says "Ok, you've got the biggest fingers, you're going to go first and open me up."

Great way to make things comfortable and welcoming for all with that visual aid...whilst I insert my fingers into your rectum...ugh.

Thanks for that again. I'll definitely be rushing to do my requisite 10 observed rectals on my surgery rotation in July after that experience.

1 comment:

M said...

That is awkward on so many levels. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry-- your posts seem to do that to me. *applauds*

I mean, if someone came up to you six years ago and told you you'd end up spending the majority of your young adult life sticking your fingers into people's nether regions, wouldn't you have called the police?

Goes to show how insane med school really is. *headdesks*