Quote of the Day: Absconding...

After a wonderful hour in the Adult ED, I was politely asked by the attending to hang out in fast track with the NP. Actually the conversation went something to the effect of:

Attending: "Who are you?"
Me: "My name is Bostonian, I'm a second year Med Student."
Attending: "What are you doing here?"
Me: "Observing you today."
Attending: "So following me around all day?"
Me: "Yep..."
Attending: "Yeah... That's not going to work for me. Go talk to the fast track Nurse..."

Usually, I feel pretty useless because the physicians basically ignore the fact that we summer students exist. Fortunately, the nurses are my saving grace and they actually allow me to do some of their scut, which is nice for the time being. I'd rather do stupid go-for errands than hold up the wall for 8 hours.

Anyway, second patient that I talk to has a pretty out-there triage sheet claiming that he's being abused by another person. The NP picks up that the guy is pretty out there, so he pulls me aside and has me make sure to ask the guy if his abuser is here now because he's a presumed psychotic patient.

Me: "So, why'd you come in today sir?"
putting his fingers really close to my face "There's writing in there, in the nail beds, do you see it?"
Me: "It must be pretty small because I can't. I heard someone hurt your elbow, how did that happen?"
Patient: "This guy comes in and puts me out with narcotic sedation and does things to me. See the smiley face he put on my elbow?"

You probably get how the rest of that interview went...delusions and he appeared to be lost in his own world (hallucinating? not that he would admit to it)

Long story short, at the mention of seeing a psychiatrist the grossly psychotic patient took off to the parking lot with a nurse and security in hot pursuit. When he reached his car, he took off at a high rate of speed across the front lawn of the hospital, swerving at the nurse and security guard

...never a dull moment

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