Peds ED conversation of the day

15 yo high-as-a-kite Female, bloodshot eyes, face stuck in a grin and previously diagnosed, poorly managed adjustment disorder.

Resident: "So why are you here?"
Patient: "My face is stuck in this smile..."
Res: "Do you use drugs?"
Pt: "Just a little pot"
Res: "When was the last time you used it?"
Pt: "A few hours ago..."

Later, after patient has slept it off for a couple hours and is now impatiently glaring at the nurses station, like she's about to tackle the next person with a stethoscope that walks by.
Attending: "So what do you want to do with the patient?"
Res: "Send her home and tell her not to smoke pot."
Att: "Yup..."

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