11.04.2007

The list shortens...OB/GYN

As I take my little whirlwind tour of potential medical specialties in Pathology and Microbiology, I have knocked off about half a dozen specialties from my list if possible career choices. I'll make this a regular installment for your reading pleasure.

Disclaimer: If you are interested in any of the fields that I mention or are currently working in aforementioned specialty or potentially grading me/evaluating me in anyway, please understand that this is nothing more than my somewhat twisted justification for not going into your field. I respect you for doing what I never could. Please don't mess up my life over my poor attempts at humor.

OB/GYN-
Between my microbiology lectures on STD's and a couple of less-than-pleasant encounters with some purulent cervices, genital warts, fungal infections and unpleasant/irresponsible pregnant mothers-to-be I couldn't run away fast enough from this specialty.

"But what about bringing a beautiful new life into the world?"

Listen. I've seen the TLC series about making the baby or whatever (while switching between "Mythbusters" on Discovery and Sportscenter). The horribly violent act of bringing a human child onto this Earth is utterly horrifying to me. You couldn't pay me enough to be on the business end of a hormonally imbalanced woman passing an 6-12 pound bowling ball of a HUMAN BEING through a slightly elastic tunnel that is roughly the size of a roll of dimes in its relaxed state. At 3 AM. On Christmas Eve. In a blizzard.

The female body may have taken millions of years to become a baby producing machine, but the female mind/consciousness has been evolving away from that role over the past century or so. I am not getting in the middle of that argument or spending the rest of my career catching the equivalent of a vaseline-covered football worth a couple million dollars as it flies out of an angry vagina that's being torn to shreds.

"But there's plenty of fun surgical procedures without the long surgery residency!"

Yeah, but there's also cutting into an oriented x 3 mother that is anesthetized from T12 down, sewing back together that now septic birth canal, being sued because I wasn't gifted with Randy Moss' hands, being sued because mom died of DIC or being sued because some baby I delivered as a resident didn't become MENSA material because I may have made a mistake, at 3AM, on Christmas Eve, in a blizzard.

OB/GYN...you are the weakest link...GOODBYE!

4 comments:

K said...

Dear BiNY,

This is a stab in the dark, but do you go to a school with an anatomy professor who has something unusual on his resume?

I'm all about anonymous blogging, but I was curious based on a few details that rang a bit too true (fine: unhealthy emphasis on Robbins and the number of students). I'm an M1 there.

Keep blogging the good fight regardless. Your OB/GYN reasons are all exactly why I plan on never going into that field.

Bostonian in NY said...

K,

If you're referring to who I think you're referring to, you're correct. And you probably know exactly who I am (the name of the blog definitely gives it away at our school). I could have been much more anonymous, but then I would have to start removing some of me (and what this place has done to me) from my writing, and I'm not ready to do that yet.

Anywho, I'd appreciate it if you kept my ID on the DL. I do this more for the catharsis than the attention. Actually the less attention I get, the better.

Good luck on your up comming exam...you're 1/3 done with 1st year.

BinNY

K said...

I think I found your blog by doing a search for, uh, "histology miniboard practice." Go figure. So you haven't left anything obvious around.

You don't have anything to censor, but I've lost some of my favorite medblogs that way, and won't pass it around. If I wanted to start a blog for catharsis, I'd ask for the same privacy, so you have it from me.

Before I head off and forget this address, I wanted to say thanks. You seem only a few months of frustration ahead of me, and it's nice to know I'm not the only one, and that it'll hopefully pass. And I'll try and read up on neuro. ;)

Bostonian in NY said...

K-

Other people have found it by googling "med school blows" if that's any consolation.

I don't have a problem with the blog being passed around...I kind of get a kick out of the 20 or so hits I get a day. I'd just prefer that the deans/clinical faculty/my future employers not sanction me for HIPPA violations or to censor what I'm saying. And god forbid that this ever gets used in a trial like Flea's blog did. Again, feel free to drop in anytime as reading someone else's thoughts on what you're going to go through can be insightful on its own, or even to say hey if you see me on campus.

~Bostonian